I met some really cool people tonight.
Friday, November 05, 2004

Pre-mature excitement can be a dangerous thing.

...So I answered this ad on Craigslist.com. I thought it was pretty weird that someone would be looking for help with worship music on Craigslist.com. So I simply responded in an email - "What church do you go to?". Not that I'm familiar with many churches here, but I was curious how he'd answer. In the days after, we emailed back and forth a bit. I was coming to the conclusion that this dude would be a musical kindred spirit. So I went to meet him and friends at their "house church" gathering.

As it turns out, they need a worship leader. The very thing I moved cross country to do, and the very thing that completely fell through for me early this year. But for some reason, I've stuck around here anyway. Some reason... I've been searching for what that is exactly...

I thought I would be meeting Tim to maybe work with in music ministry of some sort. Maybe some recording, maybe performing. I came away wondering if there wasn't more here than anticipated. You can't help but feel that way when you've just met people who seem strangely like minded. It made me wonder if getting involved with these people would mean tangling myself up in a reason for staying here on the West Coast. But that's a lot of expectation to have for a few people I've only just met. It's uncanny how at home I am with them. But a big part of me still just wants to go home to my family and nice house (that I'll never have here). Part of me doesn't want to meet cool new friends here! All of me knows that there's no better place to be than where God wants me to be. (easy enough to say anyway...) But I'm just not sure where that is at the moment.

I don't know if I just needed my head to be quiet, or if it was providence, but I felt compelled to go numb. To turn down the thoughts in my head, (ideas being stirred, fears, confusion...) and turn up the volume on the CD that was playing in my car. The song had my full attention. This is what proceeded to play as I drove home:

Faith Enough,
by Jars of Clay

The ice is thin enough to walk on
The rope is worn enough to climb
My throat is dry enough for talking
The world is crumbling but I know why
World is crumbling but I know why

The storm is wild enough for sailing
The bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I'm home enough to know I'm lost
Home enough to know I'm lost

It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places
In the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight

The linen fit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe
Enough a cynic to believe

It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places
In the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight

Confused enough to know direction
Sun eclipsed enough to shine
Still enough to find me tremble
See enough to know I'm blind
See enough to know I'm blind

It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places
In the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight

But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9